Man on Wire is a movie about a man, Philippe Petit, who walk a tightrope connected to both of the twin towers in NYC back in 1974. Inspiring, I made a music video to Bonobo’s “Walk in the Sky” song, taking footage from the movie Man on Wire.
I wrote this poem a couple of years back when I was going through a period of tremendous loss. 2011 was an extremely contradictory year in my life. When I wrote this I was in a process (long process) of ending a romantic relationship with someone that was with me through my transformation to becoming a revolutionary. Although politically we were compatible, that was about the only way we were. It was loss, but with loss we also gained our freedom, I gained my self respect and knew if I wanted to have the kind of relationship I did I would have to let this one go. Loss, and hope. At the same time I found out I was pregnant and had an abortion. I couldn’t go through it with him but a really great friend to me at the time was by my side through the whole thing. More loss, and friendship. That year I had lost several friends from my past. Yet I believe that their journey is not over. They have touched all of us who are still here, and we carry their life through us, taking it with us on our own journeys. They are part of us.
it’s painful. so painful to think
i won’t know you like this anymore.
to get rid of the only thing living between us,
is also killing a part of myself.
i’m not asking anything of you.
i feel you’ve done all you could do.
and now i am having to do my part to finish up everything that i can.
I was daydreaming earlier today
of going up really high and flying away.
taking her with me away from this place
but instead she’ll be leaving alone.
I dreamt of her once in our bed.
she had a beautiful smile and a head full of hair
and we loved her so much,
but i’ll never get to meet her because nothing is right about right now.
it’s hard to lose so many people at once
like you told me when it rains it pours.
but it feels like my whole life i’ve been trying to keep people from going away
and leaving me behind.
One day I will grow wings and fly
and i’ll carry myself up from this.
but for now i am stuck here alone in this cold bed,
with cold tears to remind me i’m alive.
i used to fight for our love and defend it.
i told them it was revolutionary.
but even revolutions don’t always end in cheers,
like the song,
you walked away.
To all those I’ve lost to death,
at least now i know that you are at rest.
and i don’t believe in another world other than this one,
but i believe your a part of it now.
it’s hard to lose so many people at once
i’ve grasped at the tail ends of them all
and you and i have come all this way,
but i can take it from here, i’ll hold my head tall
because i will be standing right here.
This is my most recent. This one is made with my partner, some personal footage, but I think it goes well with the personal nature of the video. It was started in a time of love, pure and simple. Then half way through it became a healing thing to do. To reflect on the good of this person so dear to me.
This is the second music video I made with my ex. He’s prolly gonna hate me for putting this up, but I think he’s great for doing it!
This is another music video I made. The software malfunctioned so it’s choppy at the end. Still good though 😉
Just so y’all know I make music videos, so expect some old ones to come. Right now me and my partner are working on a new one.. it is the dopiest one I’ve made so far. Coming soon. Until then here goes my first one.
Apathy – we get down
A caged bird, beautiful eyes, spirit so big for its little bird body. He should’ve been a lion or a cheetah with his heart so big. But his spirit was free, so the bird was he.
But locked behind bars his spirit was locked down. He learned knew ways while caged.
Until the day they set him free, as he flew away he realized they tied his leg to a string, he wouldn’t be flying too far away this time.
Back to the same ol life he left behind. But his new content didn’t fit this old form. He felt crammed into a small box, he needed so much more.
For when this happened was when he met me. Even I couldn’t fit into his small box with him and he wanted more than what we could have here. He wanted to have me but his life wasn’t what he wanted so feeling restless he left me. Emotionally first, then physically.
And then he left us all. But he had to. No one could blame him. His spirit so free, caged for so long, he flew away.
Beautiful bird, with a beautiful soul. Singing songs of a caged bird set free.